shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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