You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
