O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
