You're so nebulous sometimes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
