Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
