I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
