i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
