Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
