Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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