I accidentally had phone sex last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
