Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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