Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
