If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
