i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize