oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
