i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
