On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
