A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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