The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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