Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
