There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize