I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
