Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
