is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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