everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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