six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
