I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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