But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
