So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
