But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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