he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
