break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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