Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
