You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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