They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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