At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
