Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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