And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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