problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
50% drunk capacity currently
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
