HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
