I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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