i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
