sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
