There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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