No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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