YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
