dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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