elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
