I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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