That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
