D3 body, D1 cock
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
