My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
