no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
