You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Randomize
