friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
