no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
