i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
