We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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