Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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