White coat. Heels.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
