I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
