Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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