Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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