I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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