so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
