I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
